Tonight I had an email from someone who used to be a friend. Used to because they turned nasty and I then didn’t want to have anything to do with them. The email started off quite well, there was an apology offered as their behaviour was apparently due to some misunderstanding. Even though all of this had happened quite some time ago, they wanted to apologise now that they’d realised I hadn’t done this big evil thing they thought I’d done to cause them to act this way. Apology accepted, lets move on.
Except that apparently it wasn’t this person I had offended, it was their friend. And what was explained to me was that in conversations I’d had with this friend, they’d come to the conclusion that I had ill-gotten confidential information on their terminally ill friend. Information I shouldn’t have and obviously couldn’t keep secret. Of course, these conversations were me trying to help this person deal with the fact that their friend was dying, and being there to listen as I had had friends to listen to me when it was my turn. And the confidential information I wasn’t supposed to have was either given to me directly by themselves or was information I knew because this terminal illness was exactly what Granny had. Exactly.
Now normally, I can just shrug off this sort of thing. The fact that it involved Granny made this a bit harder. But what really made it hard for me to ignore was the timing. You see, three years ago tomorrow I was getting on a plane to go and spend my last ever week with Granny. And all of a sudden all of it came flooding back. I’ve spent the evening reliving that final goodbye, and trying to distract myself so I stop reliving it. This time of year isn’t easy for me at the best of times. Tonight was definitely not the best of times.
I’m sure the email writer meant well, but part of me wishes they’d just left it alone.
Once upon a time, this sort of thing would cause me to close myself off even more. But I’m trying not to live that way anymore, so instead I’m sharing it here.